• Leo DiCaprio gives Ashton Kutcher a high five as Demi teaches daughter Rumer how to pole dance at the Chateau Marmont. In real life. (Page Six)
• Amazing after-party pictures from the Oscars; Victoria Beckham kicks it with Betty White, Jodie Foster yells at K-Stew, and more. (People)
• Here is Kim Kardashian in a bikini. You’re welcome. (Us Magazine)
• Here are Kendra Wilkinson’s stretch marks. We’re sorry. (Us Magazine)
• Remember that guy who flashed the Dolphin text banner at the Oscars. Yeah, it worked. (TMZ)
• Jersey Shore is taking its Situation to the shores of Miami Beach. (TMZ)
• Madonna continues to defy the aging process in this new video of 4 minutes, featuring Justin Timberland and Timbaland. (Popeater)
• In thank-the-lord-for-nannies news, Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller’s children are reportedly happy despite their parents’ drug problems. (Radar Online)
• Andy Richter is still fighting mad that he no longer gets to be a sidekick. (Popeater)
• Tila Tequila is apparently still pretending she’s pregnant. (The Superficial)
• Has the Glitter finally worn off? Mariah Carey has dreams to continue her real acting career under the tutelage of Woody Allen. (E!Online)
• Britney Spears tries on jewelry from Nicole Richie’s House of Harlow line, wonders how their career trajectories switched places. (People)
• Taylor Momsen is a collision of teenage angst and money. A smoking pile. (Parade)
• Maddox Jolie-Pitt speaks fluent English, French, Spanish and Khmer. And he might be smarter than you. (Daily Star)
• Nicole Kidman’s daughter continues to be cute, does not yet speak one language fluently. (Lainey Gossip)

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